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The Sounds of Hurt


Sounds of Hurt

The sound of hurt can be…

The silent drop of a tear, rolling down ones cheek

The loud tones of a scream, when they can no longer speak

The crashing of a fist as it hits against a wall

The bowing of a head when they can no longer stand tall


The sound of hurt cannot be heard through words only

If we don’t listen to all, we banish them lonely

Often hurt can speak through actions and not by a choice.

Because for a moment the hurting have lost their voice




What do I say?

Most times say nothing …


Step into the suffering, which means be willing to sit in silence and really hear the sounds of hurt, look at things as if it was your pain and what would you need…

When I have spoken at events, I have always been asked the question “What do I say”


And I answer, sometimes there are no words, no words are needed, because our own actions will speak as loud as their hurt… and they need a presence of support, trust and quiet permission to express all the hurt they need to release…

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Valerie Hillman
Valerie Hillman
10 may 2023

What strategies do you recommend to cultivate that quiet yet safe and strong presence when being there for those who are hurting?

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I believe some strategies would be stepping in with a “Positive Affective Presence”.


Acceptance … Open acceptance of the person you are supporting, but also the accepting of one’s self, knowing yourself well enough to allow this person the opportunity to share and express themselves, as you hold no agenda to fix this person, only a willingness to let them share without a fear of judgement, bias or blame.


Listen and Learn … Really listen to learn, validate and learn what their needs are.


Genuine Respect ... Respect is the precursor to trust, it has to come first, show this person you are genuine in wanting to help and you value them.


TRUST… Allow this person…

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