Worthy: if you don’t know your worth you are allowing someone else to determine it.
it wasn’t that I liked sitting at the back of the room or that I was so scared and nervous that I came across as rude it wasn’t that I didn’t want the conversation or allow myself to be heard it wasn’t that I seemed aloof or even arrogant because I could not speak a word… I could only hear it wasn’t that I didn’t want to be included or that I froze up because people were near it wasn’t that I didn’t want to scream and say look at me I’m here it was just…
I believed I didn’t matter
I believed… that you couldn’t see me anyways or want to reach out and touch me and to just say it’s all okay it was just…
so much for me to handle, to cope with everyday, but oh I wanted more I wanted to be that woman who could dance across the floor who could tell the world my inner feelings, to tell you… yes tell you about my day and everything I could do it was just me believing that I didn’t matter and that when I sat in a crowded room or even a room with two or three that you looked beyond my shoulder for someone… who was more important, someone who just wasn’t me and when it did become my chance to say look at me… I have been broken but yet I’m still okay and then I quivered as you listened and my hands shook in greater fear and my voice spoke in a whisper barely loud enough for you to hear and as I spoke you listened my whisper became loud and clear, and you allowed me growth and courage which had become my biggest fear it was then I finally realized this was truly just about me allowing this person to define my very essence it had become my journey… that to me was finally clear believing I didn’t matter and that no one would really care just because one person stole from me
it was only to him I didn’t matter it was only to him… he just didn’t care to have him influence my entire lifetime… really to everyone it just was not fair…
So I had allowed another to determine my worth… all because I couldn’t see clear.
It had made me so dysfunctional, living my own fear.
We want you to see, to understand your WORTH is not determined by anyone. And you are so very worthy, to be heard, to matter. We need to understand how the fear of peoples judgement, the fear of not mattering can paralyze us. We need to reach out to each other, we need to build each other up, to listen, and to show others that they really do matter and that we understand.